It's Valentine's Day again and many people are looking forward to surprising and being surprised by their partners and crushes. But while many people in relationships embrace the February 14 "lovers day" with excitement (I'm sure those too broke to afford presents do not) to many single people it is a painful reminder of how lonesome you are. Relationships are often a fun thing to have and to observe and the joy we feel for couples makes it the more enticing. However, preceding all the caressing, kissing, couple-times and PDA (public display of affection) is the dreaded "asking out" phase. The social construction of mechanisms for "adding value" to ones self has created a widespread system of value addition where individuals (often times ladies) make it teasingly difficult for boys to win them over, this is what I mean by "stretching"- a term widely used in my native homeland of Ghana. Stretching is enforced by the mindset that doing so will make the "chaser" appreciate and value you and, among others things, save you from being tried in the court of public opinion, sentenced and labelled "cheap" or "easy". At many other times it is a clear show of a lack of interest in a "suitor" though pursuers often go into denial and doubt this truth. As a relationship novice myself, I may not be adequately "experienced" to discuss stretching, but from my discussions with others I have identified that while experienced parties see stretching as an important part of the "grabbing" process, the novices find it extremely heart-wrenching and unnecessary, especially in cases where they (the stretchees) feel their advances are in reaction to "real or perceived" advances initiated by the "stretcher".
I for one think stretching is necessary; I believe it adds to the "fun" of finding love and serves the interests of either parties. On one hand the stretcher gets emotional and mental satisfaction while escaping labelling. On the other, the "stretchee" is made to work hard and, if successful, basks in the glory of "conquest and accomplishment". Even in the commonplace event where the stretchee looses, it constitutes a learning curve and provides very useful experience. (laughs).
But as the term implies, stretching involves pushing the patience and endurance of a pursuer and like an elastic band, the snapback can be devastating to the stretcher. I have friends who were left distraught because they over-stretched their secret crushes and ended up on the losing end because the pursuers opted to try their luck elsewhere. My take is short and simple; everything in moderation, even too much of something good could be bad. Besides, why stretch when you share the feelings of the pursuer? Comment and share your story and opinions on stretching.
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY.
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